no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
