Quick, to the slutcave!
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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