Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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