i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
