it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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