Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
