We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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