it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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