We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
