Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I think i got beer on your cat.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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