Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
