I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
