If i come over, it means nothing
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
