And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
