Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
