Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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