my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
