First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
