We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
