at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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