So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
