mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
