Me too!
Jerry, you need to find god
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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