I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
