well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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