She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm like, not good at living.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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