No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
