Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
