i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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