it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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