They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
