where am i from again
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
