i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
