i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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