It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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