the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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