Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you guys were way drunker than both of me
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
