you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
