Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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