he wants to bone in the snuggie
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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