the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
