He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
