Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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