I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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