it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
