I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
