And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Jerry, you need to find god
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
