Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize
