He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
