When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
