my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
